Fix You
by Tasogarewolf
Summary: Songfic to Coldplay's "Fix You" set in Jacob's POV during New Moon.... Jacob/Bella, hints of Edward/Bella. And to set the record, I am totally pro Edward. But there is no bashing, just how I think Jacob might have felt during NM. Reviews much appreciated!


**AN: Okay, I will clarify one thing first, I am **_**not**_** for Bella/Jacob. This is a manic idea I got when I was listening to Coldplay, (something I normally don't even do, eheh) and the fic had to be written. As Miss Meyer said herself, stories sometimes just **_**have**_** to be written. So meh. This is written from Jake's POV in NM, one-sided, one-sided! (cries)**

_When you try your best but you don't succeed,_

_when you get what you want but not what you need,_

_when you feel so tired but you can't sleep_

_stuck in reverse._

I got to watch her from afar ever since I had watched her fall head over heels (almost quite literally because we're talking about Bella here) for the Cullen. I knew I couldn't offer her much myself, Cullen had the money, the looks, and the obvious same fierce care for Bella that I had imagined myself having. But it was all a dream, wasn't it?

And then he left her. I found so many reasons to want to grab the paper-faced idiot and rip him to shreds when I saw the zombie Bella Swan had become. Charlie spoke to my father numerous times about what was going on, the chief was confused. So was I. The Cullens had upped and left Forks, there was no trace of them. And Bella... She was no longer Bella.

_And the tears come streaming down your face,_

_when you lose something you can't replace._

_When you love someone but it goes to waste_

_could it be worse?_

I hadn't ever seen such a dramatic change in anyone I'd ever met in my life. She was suddenly lifeless, as though her soul had just been drained right out of her. Each time I thought about why she was that way, I felt a mad rush of anger that nearly literally made me see red. That idiotic Cullen, didn't he see what he'd given up? Didn't he expect what would be left behind him, shattered in too many pieces for anyone to pick up?

She _was_ broken. Charlie could see it, her friend at school could see it, I could see it. And she didn't speak to me. She didn't speak at all. It was as though the real Bella had simply vanished, leaving a robot to take her place. Cullen. It was all his fault.

_Lights will guide you home,_

_and ignite your bones._

_And I will try to fix you._

When she came to me, asking about fixing those bikes she'd bought, I was alarmed. Suddenly there was life in her eyes, pink in her face, she was human again. I was incredibly glad to have her company, she was suddenly back again. She would hang around often, watching me and listening to animated chatter about the engines.

I knew she didn't understand what I was talking about. I knew she really didn't give a damn either. But the useless words filled up the silence. And I could see she was glad to hear something. Fixing bikes, who knew people could bond over something that ridiculous. And so I talked, she listened. And after awhile, she began to talk back. And I could never hide my grin when she was around. I could fix bikes. I could fix her.

_And high up above or down below,_

_when you're too in love to let it go._

_But if you never try you'll never know,_

_just what you're worth._

The first time I said his name, the sudden tears that shone in her wide mahogany scared the heck out of me. Anguish, that's what I saw. And that was when I realized that along with seeing her smiles again, I'd see tears again. And I was suddenly angry again. She was crying because of him, she was still in love with him. Didn't I mean a thing to her? Didn't she see how much I cared about her too?

It was always him. I knew that. And that angered me. The first time I phased, it was because I was thinking about her and him together. Anger drove me mad. I was terrified over what had happened to me, shocked. But it got better, so much better. Being a wolf, running in the forest, I suddenly felt free. Sam helped me, and I felt content for once in my life ever since Bella had come back. And that was when I learned the truth. I couldn't have her in my life if I was what I was. And the pain returned.

_Lights will guide you home,_

_and ignite your bones._

_And I will try to fix you._

Avoiding her wasn't easy. She would call my home often, demanding to speak to me. And I was torn. I did want to talk to her, I did want to speak with her and let her know how I truly felt, about the pack. But Sam had commanded it. He was the alpha male, the leader. I wouldn't, couldn't, go against that.

But I was naturally rebellious. I gave her hints when I could speak to her, I let her know in my own way that she could figure it out. And she did. When she told me she understood, I hugged her so tightly I nearly cracked her ribs. Finally. Freedom. She could learn about my world. I hadn't imprinted on her, which worried me. I had tried to force it already, but nothing came of it. Sam had told me that it couldn't be forced, but I tried anyway. She was mine after all.

_Tears stream down your face,_

_when you lose something you cannot replace._

_Tears stream down your face,_

_and I..._

I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to hold her and tell her how much she meant to me. But I didn't. Despite her cheerfulness around me, in spite of the fact that she smiled when I was there... It wasn't the thing I expected. She wasn't the same girl I knew when she was with the leech. She didn't smile as brightly, her eyes didn't sparkle. And I was bitter.

Yeah, I was bitter. Who had taken care of her, brought her out of that zombie state she'd sunk into? Wasn't it me? Didn't she love me? And I hated the leech for taking that chance away from me. But I wouldn't stop trying. I had fixed her now... But she was still going to be mine, one way or the other.

_Tears stream down your face,_

_I promise you I will learn from my mistakes._

_Tears stream down your face,_

_and I..._

And then one of them came back. And I was shocked by how readily and happily she jumped back into their world. It shocked me. And then I was bitter again. And then angry, and sad. She jumped into the leech's arms, and then onto a plane without thought to rescue her own particular one. I was alone again.

I had thought I knew pain when my mother had died, I thought I knew pain when my father lost the ability to walk, I thought I knew real anguish. But when she left me alone to save the bastard who'd nearly killed her the first time, I was dying. And they came back together, she was beaming like an angel in his arms. And she was my enemy. The crushing thought ached my heart, but I was stoic. If she wanted to kill herself... What could I do?

But I fought against it. I'd come too far to lose her to some leech. She deserved better, I _was_ better. And she left with him anyway. I was dying all over again. She looked back at me, she saw my fierce agony. And I ran back. I'd lose myself in the woods, and then I would come back and become resilient again. I was the wolf, I was the pack and the pack was me. And when the time came... I'd go back and reclaim what was mine, and when he left her in shambles again... I would fix her. Because I loved her.

_Lights will guide you home,_

_and ignite your bones._

_And I will try to fix you_.

**AN**

**Yeah... I think I totally just ruined Jacob's character. I was listening to "Fix You" and the idea hit me and refused to let go. I'm not even pro Jacob/Bella. (Sweatdrop and hides behind a tree) But I can see where he was coming from, loving Bella and all, and that just inspired me to write this... I think I ended up killing Jacob's character here... I don't own Twilight (oh how I wish) nor do I own this song "Fix You" by Coldplay.**

**Evie**


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